Silver Alert March 5, 2012 by Chris LeBrun

I’d be lying if I said the weather was one of the things we’ve had to get used to since we moved to Florida last summer.  The beach on Christmas eve, camping in January, & drive-in movies in March —  sure takes a lot of getting used to.  I’m not saying I won’t change my mind this summer when it’s hotter than Hades but we were here in August last year and it wasn’t too horrible!  And right now it’s wonderful!

Of course there’s other differences to get used to.  For one, there’s a ton more bugs than in Michigan.  My commute takes me through the swamps of the Space Coast and I can’t keep the front of my car clean to save my life.

But the thing that has been the most foreign to me, something that I’ve NEVER seen anywhere else is the Silver Alert.

When you find out what it is, Silver Alerts make a ton of sense, especially here in Florida.  Basically it’s an AMBER Alert or a missing persons report for elderly people, especially for people with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia who have been thought to wander off.  Again, it makes total sense in a state that has probably more elderly people per capita than most all other states (I’m sure Arizona gives FL a run for its money!)

The crazy thing is that the first 5 or 6 Silver Alerts I saw when we first got here were for silver cars.  It was a little confusing — I wasn’t sure if it HAD to be an elderly person in a silver car or if this was just a coincidence.  Eventually I saw some other color cars associated with the Silver Alert and my mind was set at ease!

It just got me thinking, what other type of alerts should we be thinking about?  I could see use for a Polka Dot alert for missing clowns or possibly a Chrome Alert for missing bald people! I’d say that in the Southern States there could be a Red Alert for Rednecks but since there are so MANY of them it might be better to have an alert for non-rednecks that go missing but I have NO idea what to call it!

While Alzheimer’s is a serious medical condition that could complicate finding a missing person, I doubt no one will endorse a Flaky alert for people with Leprosy. And I’m guessing we want to stay away from alerts that would offend people so there will probably never be the Large Marge Alert for fat people or the Tiny Tim Alert for midgets.  And obviously ethnic alerts are out!

The only reason I bring these up is that I honestly fear that some lawmaker somewhere might propose something equally crazy!  Again I think the Silver Alert is very important; I can’t imagine if one of my loved ones went missing especially if they had a complicating illness.  It’s just so amazingly shocking that lawmakers got this one right on the first try. Who would have thunk it!

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