Now I’m not talking about “they used to wear a clip on earring to try to look like George Michael on the cover of the Faith album” kinda secret. I’m talking about a serious, jaw-dropping, nobody else knows whopper that leaves you stunned for days!
And I can’t tell a soul!
Now I’m not a big gossip to begin with. I know some people get off on that and while I do enjoy knowing all the gory details, passing top-secret info on to others isn’t my bag. I guess I’m an information hoarder.
But in this situation my devious little mind started working. I know others would LOVE to be in on this secret. While it would be shocking and salacious at first, eventually it would be good for a laugh. Not really at the person’s expense, just a good chuckle about a situation that isn’t necessarily funny. But given the person involved, it becomes funny(ish).
It’s a good thing that I’m not really passive aggressive either because I’ve thought of all sorts of ways of trying to hint at the information in conversation. There are ways to do it that are hurtful, but mostly, I’m thinking along the lines of loaded questions and comments. But I’m too nice to do any of that.
I’m also curious if the secret that I’m keeping is really all that secret. I mean someone told me and I am committed to keeping their confidence. But what if other people know? What if my other mutual friends know and they too are trying to respect some code. Now I’m paranoid that we’re all sitting around, dying inside because we want to say something and everyone else is thinking exactly the same thing!
Speaking of being paranoid, I’m sure everyone who knows me is probably wondering “is it me? Did he find out about _________!” So, in an attempt to assuage any of your fears, “No, it’s not you!”
Well maybe it is, but I will say that the odds are in your favor. I have almost 1,300 friends on Facebook so that means there’s only a 1 in 1,300 or 0.00076% chance that its you. Of course percentages can be tricky. If I had a 1-in-1,300 chance of winning the Powerball lottery, that would be pretty exciting. Conversely, if the doctor says there is a 0.00076% that you have the Ebola virus, you’re not really feeling relieved.
The only way you can be truly sure if this secret involves you is to tell me your deepest, darkest secrets — remember, telling others really isn’t my thing so as they say, ‘your secret’s safe with me’ — and then I’ll tell you if that’s the secret I’m talking about or not. Then you’ll be 100% sure and I’ll probably have LOTS more blog material (anonymous of course)!
You are always welcome to post your secret on the comments section of this blog or on my Facebook page. I’m also open to you posting secrets about mutual friends that you and I have in common. Just know that if you post secrets about people I don’t know, I’m gonna need pictures.
Let the games begin!